From Paris to Jail in three easy steps (Paris Hilton goes to the pokey)

Asked whether she had understood the terms of the drunk-driving plea that she agreed to Jan. 22, Hilton, 26, said: "I just sign what people tell me to sign…. I'm a very busy person."


Paris the heiress is headed off to the pokey. For other worthless socialites who'd like to follow in the footsteps of this worldy sage, here's how she did it.

1. She was stupid (got her license suspended).

2. She stayed stupid (completely disregarded the law and continued to drive).

3. She got spanked for being stupid (off to jail where many amorous women with short haircuts anxiously--nay, needfully--await her arrival).

Jail Baby! Yeah!


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