Cloning Research Scientists Create "Chimp Dog"

Seoul Herald News

Written by Myung Dae Kim, 07/05/22
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In the sleepy village of Naedok, life moves in picturesque fashion on a daily basis. Shop keepers move produce from small trucks to vegetable and fruit stands outside their shops, children play whimsically alongside their family businesses, and old men, old enough to have participated in the nation's civil war, half a century ago, play cards on small tables, drinking perhaps too early in the day, and trading stories and opinions about life and past loves. Few among them give much consideration to the government research facility that, two years ago, laid its foundations down the road, other than the new jobs that were created or the boom in local housing creation that began as a result. After all, new jobs were brought into the area, and old jobs were invigorated overnight. With a healthy infusion of new economic activity, spawned by the Gol Mu Dok research labs, most would say there is nothing to think about at all, other than to be thankful for the newfound wealth that has been delivered to the residents of Naedok. But not everyone feels that way. Some villagers have lately been uneasy about the Gol Mu Dok labs and Pachinko parlor owner, Kwi Chang Cain, is one of them.

Why is Kwi Chang Cain nervous? Ask him and he will tell you a story that is interesting to be sure. He says it happened 22 days ago, on a night when his business was slow and he was sitting outside his pachinko parlo's doors, smoking a cigarette and relaxing in the cool evening breeze. "I was sitting outside. My business was slow that night. And Song Dook Kim owed me money so I thought I would wait for him in front of my shop in case he tried to slip by without paying. Then, I heard this rustling in the fruit trees across the way. I called out, "Song, is that you? This is foolish of you to do this. You can pay on tuesday if you do not have the money today. I only heard more rustling and I thought 'He is a foolish man and he should not play in a game parlor if he cannot satisfy his debt'. I was about to go back in. And then I heard a sound. It was a sound like laughter and crying together. And I saw eyes that were looking at me and they were red in the dark. I said 'Song, this is not funny. If you are trying to scare me it will not work and you will still owe me the money, which you only owe because you have bad luck'. I went back inside. But when I came back outside to chastise Song some more, I saw it. It was a terrible looking creature. I don't know what kind of animal it was. But it did not look natural".

Kwi Chang Cain went to the local constabulary the next day to report what he had seen but was himself given a citation for making a false report. "They said I had been drinking too much. But this was not like the other time. I saw it. They were hiding something and did not want the truth to come out", he said.

Ten days later, Kwi Chang Cain received what he believed to be a measure of redemption when the central government in Seoul city stated, in an international press release, that the Gol Mu Dok labs were engaged in high level cloning research. According to the press release, the lab's aims were to advance cloning technology with regard to current animal species and to extend this technology into the realm of "created" animals, i.e. animals created as a result of gene manipulation.

And, stunningly, five days ago, senior lead research scientist, Cho Goo Pak, revealed that his primary cloning research team had successfully cloned a hybrid animal that had been engineered using DNA strands from a primate and a species of wild dog. Referred to affectionately by Pak as the "chimp dog", he stated before a crowd of astonished reporters at the Seoul Science Ministry "this is a great day for Korea and we should all be proud of our nation's fine achievements in this area."

A followup interview with pachinko parlor owner, Kwi Chang Cain, produced the following comments: "I told them I was not drunk that night. They should have to refund me the money for the fine". When shown the now public photo of the infamous Chimp Dog produced at Gol Mu Dok, he said "That is it. That is what I saw. But if that is what they are making down the road, I think I will probably move."